How to Be Coachable Without Losing Your Confidence

Being coachable does not mean listening to everyone.

One of my (and C-Suite Coach’s)  core values is Be Coachable. I have always prided myself on being open to feedback and looking for ways to improve.

But at times, I’ve struggled.

I found myself receiving feedback from people who were discounting how hard I had to work to “do the thing”. They were critiquing the one thing I missed, while seemingly blind to the achievements I had made that they had never attempted.

It felt like they were on the outside looking in, judging a performance they did not understand. It is easy to critique the strategy when you are not carrying the risk.

I realized that if I let every piece of feedback in, I would lose my confidence. But if I blocked it all out, I would stop growing.

So, I had to coach myself on how to audit the data. I developed a filter to determine which feedback to internalize and which to simply acknowledge and move on.

Here is the Audit I started using:

1. The Track Record Check. I asked myself if this person has built what I am building. Do they have the scar tissue? If they have never navigated a crisis of this magnitude, their advice on risk management is theory, not practice. I value experience over opinion.

2. The Context Check. I asked myself if they see the full picture. Are they critiquing a decision without knowing the financial or operational constraints behind it? Feedback without context is usually a distraction.

3. The Intent Check. Is this feedback designed to help me win, or is it a projection of their own safety preference?

4. 
   

I learned that all feedback is data, but not all data is accurate.

You can remain open to growth without being open to noise. The most important skill I learned was not just listening to what was said, but vetting the source of who was saying it.